Just to forget the present.

Something seems to move for the future. A good news has arrived, some days ago. Was waiting for that since two months, and almost got me surprised. But it’s not so easy now…having been accepted from the Commission is not the final step. Now I have to find a lab that really wants me. I have contacts with one, but they’re proposing me to go on with my current thesis, possibly with the same guy…and that’s not good, not at all.

In these days I’m thinking only about my future, about September…where I will be, doing what, alone or with whom. All this thinking just to forget the present, the people I am working with, the topic of my project. And mixing the “pure” future with this “dirty” present is not acceptable from my point of view.

I have to go to visit the place in Belgium in two weeks, and to Lausanne in a month. I hope some certainties will arrive, and honestly now I’m not able to tell what I would prefer. It’s always a tradeoff, I know, but damnit sometimes you think it should be easier. I’m loving every day more the possibility of living in Lausanne, but I will do it only under some conditions. It seems that I can decide something about my future: I have to be really careful, to understand who really wants me.

Rimmel

 

Two chords,

three strings obsessively repeated. But with the bass picked in the right way, with an amazing drum entering. Sometimes it’s enough.

Enough to describe loneliness, as pointed out in the video sequences.

Enough to remember that night when I was ill and everybody in the bed fell asleep right after watching my favorite movie (“Perdido en la traducción”), with this song going on in a endless loop for an hour or more. Surely I had enough heat, that night.

Goma

Todavía no puedo juzgar el último álbum de los “Baustelle”, lo escuché todo solo una vez…pero finalmente encontré enYoutube el vídeo de Gomma, que a mi juicio permanece su mejor canción. Y qué letra!

Settembre spesso ad aspettarti
e giorni scarni tutti uguali
fumavo venti sigarette
e groppi in gola e secca sete di te
tue cartoline-condoglianze
“hello bastardo ci vediamo”
l’adolescenza che spedivi
sulle mie tenebre incestuose-osé
ed il futuro stava fuori
dalla new wave da liceale
così speravo di ammalarmi
o perlomeno che si infettassero i bar
novembre mio facevi freddo
la fronte frigo il polso a zero
sporcare specchi era narcosi
“potrei scambiare i miei ‘le ore’ con te ?”

tremavo un po’ di doglie blu
e di esistenza inutile
vibravo di vertigine
di lecca-lecca e zuccheri

vespe d’agosto in caldo sciame
per provinciali bagni al fiume
mi pettinavo un po’ all’indietro
superficiali ricreative pietà
sabato sera dentro un buco
e disco-gomma-americana
leccavo caramelle amare
e primavere già sfiorite con te
e già ti odiavo dal profondo
avevo piombo da sparare
se stereofonico posavo
d’imbarazzante giovinezza lamé
e fantascienza ed erezioni
che mi sfioravano le dita
tasche sfondate e pugni chiusi
“avrei bisogno di scopare con te”

tremavo un po’ di doglie blu
e di esistenza inutile
vibravo di vertigine
di lecca-lecca e zuccheri